we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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