It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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