I'm really into asian looking animals
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
