He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
