A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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