I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize