can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
