I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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