Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I have feelings that need drinking.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
