True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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