dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
