I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
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