i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
