giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
well most of my day revolves around power hour
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
