Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
