i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
