come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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