also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
