I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
