Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize