Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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