Are we in a gay sports bar?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
