...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
