I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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