She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
