We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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