He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
