guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
