dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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