My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
