The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
