I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
