He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Liz is crying about burritos again.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
