Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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