can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
