My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
