i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize