drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Come share oat with me in your robe
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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