We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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