Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
