He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
