sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
