I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
