She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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