He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
