Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My vagina just clenched in fear
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
