I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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