You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
