Christians are straight up FREAKS
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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