Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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