C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I believe in your delicious
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize