i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
