yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
