i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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