She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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