there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
