There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
