Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize