There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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