im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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