is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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